January 18, 2013

Why Can't I See It?

Ever feel like you're blind to something?  It's weird. So since around October, I've been going to the gym regularly and eating less. I can't say I'm dieting because I'm eating like normal, just less portions and less junk. I can't do deprivation, it messes with my head. Anyway, I lost 10 kilos and I'm really happy. That's 22 pounds for the metrically challenged. It was very gradual and I'm gonna keep going but the thing is, It's like I can't see it.

I see the numbers on the scale. I know all my pants are really loose and baggy. Even a pair I bought because they were on sale at JC Penny this last summer for just $8 that I could barely close the button on, are loose and I had to sew elastic into the waist. That should be proof to me that I've lost weight, right? I feel like I look the same. I put up a new fb profile pic and a few different people commented on how I looked like I lost weight and that my face looks thinner. My first thought? They're probably being nice, knowing that I'm going to Zumba and being encouraging. Even typing that I lost 10 kilos in the first paragraph up there, somehow I don't feel entitled to say it. It's hard to even describe what I mean.

This has to be some kind of phenomenon. If I wasn't so aware of it, It could actually be discouraging but thankfully, I know in my head that I must be losing because that's what logic says and it must have come off of somewhere. Although it's not a huge loss yet, it's enough weight that you'd think it would be apparent. But when I look in the mirror, I feel the same. 

Speaking of mirrors, we put up a big full length mirror in my new room and I've never had one before. Is that weird? Just always used the dresser mirror, around waist up. What a difference. It's so eye opening to see yourself full on top to bottom. I realize how ill fitting a lot of my clothes are.

Honestly, always having trouble finding plus size clothes here, when I was in the US I think I went too far the other way. I was so psyched to find plus sizes, I was buying 3X when 2X would have been better.
That's another thing. How do people who are on a weight loss journey deal with clothes? I mean all my pants are too big and look ridiculous. I bought 2 new pairs the other day, a pair of jeans and some gray trousers but I can't keep buying stuff that will be too big in a few months. I tailored a few things and I think that's what I'll  have to do with some things as I (inshaAllah) continue to lose. I'm only going to Zumba now and that's twice a week. I want to go back to 2 days of Zumba and 2 days of Aerobics plus weight training once the kids go back to school after mid year break, inshaAllah.

Anyone experience anything like this or know what I'm saying?


23 comments:

  1. I know what you're talking about. A couple of years ago my mom lost a lot of weight but she couldn't tell, she was so upset because she was sticking to a diet for a few months and she kept telling us that she's not losing any weight. And then she was dressing and her pants fell down without unzipping them. Then she realized how much she had lost but to her, she just couldn't tell.
    Quite a few years ago I lost a lot of weight and couldn't tell for a long time until I saw a picture of myself when I was at my heaviest and I couldn't believe how different I looked.

    I think because we see ourselves everyday we can't really tell sometimes. I think it's like how kids grow so fast but because we see them everyday, we don't notice it but people who don't see them as often are always saying how they've changed.

    As for clothes, I think you just should get what you need as you need them without investing too much, and alter what you can and once you reach your goal, then buy more.

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    1. That's a good analogy about the kids. I don't notice how much they've grown until I look at pictures from say the year before. Thanks :)

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  2. Sure do :) I had my son 9 wks ago and have apparently lost 12-13kg of the baby weight, but I think I look heavier now than I did in the first few days afterwards :\
    That being said, you are *definitely* entitled to be proud of that 10kg!!!!! When I minus my son's weight, I've lost about 8kg I am proud of that. 10kg is awesome!!!!! Sorry for all the exclamation marks, but I know how hard it is to lose weight so this makes me happy lol.

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    1. Congratulations on your son! Thanks so much :)

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  3. I know what you're talking about!!! I actually can't tell when I gain or lose weight. I have an hourglass figure so everything seems proportional. It isn't until I feel my clothes are too big or too small that I realize it.

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    1. Yea I'm carrying fat everywhere so it's not like one area.

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  4. I think it's because we see our self everyday and because weight loss is a slow process it doesn't appear to be anything drastic. I have the same problem but with weight gain lol. I have reallyyy been packing on the pounds here in UAE but when ppl mention it I don't feel any fatter when I look in the mirror lol but I know when my clothes get tighter haha

    Have you thought about taking pics of yourself? Like every day or week and then compare the photos as time goes on. I think that helps a lot more to really see the weight loss. You will notice little changes easily :)

    But either way, congrats Mashallah. 20 pounds is a lot. You are doing excellent!!

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    1. I think I should take pics. Now that I have a big mirror that will be easier too. And motivational. I could use the same outfit. Thanks for the idea :)

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  5. I completely understand what you're saying. I gained 35kg when I was pregnant with my daughter, and after she was born, I went back to feeling like normal, even though I clearly wasn't. I have just started to watch what I am eating againg and trying to find time to exercise when baby M sleeps.
    10kgs is great! Congratulations, that is very inspiring!

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    1. I guess it really goes both ways. I know that for a long time I didn't know just how big I was until I saw myself in photos. The mind is an amazing thing.

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  6. Wow 10kg is amazing! Congrats Mona...I am struggling to lose just a few grams. I do understand how you're feeling though; when I was on a weight-loss challenge a couple of years ago, I lost around 11kg and even though people commented on the loss and I could feel it with my clothes, I felt I looked the same. The mind plays tricks on us o.O

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    1. Yep, I think that's it. I wonder if there have been studies done about this.

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  7. before i got pregnant i lost about 10kg and desperately wanted to buy new clothes but had to keep telling myself it was no use if i wanted to continue losing weight. i think you should just tailor what you have until you settle at a weight you are comfortable with and then go shopping. that way you can save up for the day too.

    keep doing what you are doing - it's obviously working!

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    1. Yea, I think that's what I'll do. I know of a good tailor that I think will do a good job. Thanks, Ange :)

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  9. I wish I knew what you were going through! I can't keep 5lbs off and in fact, I've gained weight recently (AGAIN) so I can't fathom losing 22lbs!!!

    I would say keep up w/the tailoring until you're where you want to be...OR, buy 1 or 2 articles of clothing everytime you drop a size. Pick items that are versatile enough to wear over and over and wear them out - and not in the - out and about kind of way, necessarily.

    And to end my essay,

    CONGRATS AGAIN TO YOU!!!! SO PROUD OF YOU and INSPIRED!

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    1. Thanks! I plan on taking some things to be tailored, but not all at once or I'll have nothing to wear!

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  10. I know part of what you're going through but it's a different story. I didn't notice my weight gain much when I was pregnant other than the belly but people were commenting on my round face and I couldn't really see it. Same when I was getting back to my regular shape, I couldn't really tell that my face wasn't as round anymore... I couldn't notice my belly shrinking back either even though it was obvious by the way clothes were on me.

    Now that I'm at my regular weight and not losing anymore I can see it when I look at old pictures and I notice it when I think back to my tummy of a few months ago.

    Congratulations on the weight loss, that's a really amazing progress you've made!

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    1. Thanks :), It's so odd isn't it?

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  11. I'm proud of you dear.
    I know how you feel, i just lost 12 kg.
    Now i have a healthy weight alhamdulillah.
    I want to lose a little more just for myself, maybe 5 kg more.

    XO Arezu

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    1. Wow, congrats! Good for you!

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  12. Been there. Done that. So I know exactly what you mean Mona. At the start of my weight loss journey, when I first lost 18kgs (even though I had many many more to lose), although slightly noticeable, the loss was still noticeable. I had people asking me, telling me, noticing the change... I would feel upset, because I couldn't see the 'change', probably because I knew I had a lot more to lose, probably because the image in my head of me 'having lost weight' looks a little more different. It is a mind thing hun... Being overweight causes a lot of baggage (metaphorically of course!), hence the psychological issues BUT losing the weight, the changes in one's body, facial features, etc also cause a lot of baggage. It results in other psychological issues. You need to have a very strong mind to keep your will strong too, and pray constantly... pray that Allah helps you reach your healthy goal...

    Now, after having lost 80kgs (that is approx. 175 pounds), more than what I currently weight, I still felt huge. I have only very very recently started to see myself as 'normal', if you know what I mean, yet I still feel fat, think fat... So in actual fact, 10kg is a huge accomplishment mashaallah. Don't sell yourself short to yourself. There are certain amounts of weight one will need to lose to actually see the change themselves. I have noticed this with myself. Sometimes it was 12kg, sometimes 7kgs... So just hang in there, since your clothes have noticed the difference :) so will you! :) All the best hun, it is not an easy journey, but a gratifying one..

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    1. I really appreciate your comment. I remember reading your post about realizing you're thin now. The mind, it's so tricky!

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Thanks for commenting!