August 17, 2012

How To Be A Badass

You know the girlfriend you have that is just  fabulous and in complete charge of her life? She doesn't take shit from anyone. She knows what she wants and goes for it.  She does only things she wants to do. She handles tough situations calmly and wisely. Does what she sees is best for her and her life and owes no explanation to anyone. She's a badass.

Don't let the post title mislead you, I'm not writing a post on how to be a badass. I'm asking!

How does one become a badass? Know that when I say badass, I mean it in the most awesome way possible.

You see, I find that I'm a bit of a push over. I've always chalked it up to being easy going or very kind, but I feel that I need to change that some. That doesn't mean one has to be bitchy. Just in control.

 A good friend recently shared a great quote, it went something like:

"If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done"
Ding goes the lightbulb! How can one expect different results when they are doing the same thing they've always done? 

So here's where you guys come in. Give me your best  Badassery 101. Think of the most confident, independent, fabulous woman you know and tell me what makes her so amazing. It might be you!  Examples, stories, traits, advice, whatever. Go! 

It goes without saying that I mean within Islam because there's always gonna be that comment.


  1. My most recent badass moment is when I told my mother that I'll marry when I want to, not because I'm at that prime age. And she should be proud to have a daughter who wants to work, travel and live her dreams without feeling the need of a man's presence in her life.

    I know, some would disagree. So another example of badassery is when I told off a male classmate who said he'll date another classmate if only she was thin.

    "You're no Ambercombie & Fitch model, mister."

    1. Ha! Lol at your reply to the classmate. I think your stance on marriage timing is spot on.

    2. Wow hanis! You and I need to be friends lol

  2. Im no badass overall but I try not to be too much of a pushover and to make myself ready for that, there are two things that help.

    1) Being confident that I'm right if it's that kind of thing or being confident that I have a right to feel that way/believe whatever it is/ act however I am. If I'm confident, I can assume responsability 100% and I can know that I will be able to deal with possible criticism.

    2) I have to not assume that I will be criticized and situate myself in reality which is that most people will not demand extra explanation or will not argue or will not take it the wrong way. It makes it less stressful to think that it will likely be no big deal to people unlike what I might imagine.

    Thee thoughts are mostly about telling someone something that kind of needs to be said or giving an unpopular opinion or acting in a way that is different from the norm.

    1. These are great points! Thanks Candice :)

  3. Well, funny story that happened to us today. We went to a hair salon around 5.15-ish pm. Naturally, given how many women were waiting to get their hair done I knew some argument, fight, w/e was going to happen. We sat down anyway and surprisingly the lady immediately seated my sister at a sink and washed her hair. So b3ad kitha she was under the blow dryer thingy. I thought all was well so I decided w/e I'm going to sit in the car. My mom was waiting inside the salon the whole time. My sister's 14 so we don't necessarily trust her to tell the lady what she wants....I assumed they'd be done within the hour but that hour turned in to 2 then to almost 3 and over here in toronto ftoor is at 8.20 these days. Just at 7.50 my mom and sister came out of the store. I was like oh they're done! I looked at my sisters hair and turns out it wasn't done at all. I was like "???" So turns out the owner does preferential treatment with her clients and doesn't do it based on time slots. This client before us argued that her daughter came before us (at around 3.30 pm) and hadn't had her hair done. (wasn't true) The owner decided to back up the bogus story and told my sister to wait her turn... my mother was like "Is that so? We have to wait?" The owner backed up what she previously said. And in the room full of people my mother told my sister to throw the towel on the chair, and that they were leaving. She was like "yeah this isn't happening. I'm not a woman you can take advantage over like your other clients. I run on time and order, unlike you."

    I was like high effing 5 mommm!

    1. Oh that is good. I can't understand that system at all.

  4. Anonymous1:52 PM

    don't allow yourself to be treated in a manner that you would hate your daughters to be treated like. be their role model.

    1. True, this can be said about a lot of things.

  5. Maryam4:30 PM

    ooh, if only there was a simple answer. That's a life lesson, hard for many of us to learn: how to be confident, strong, and independent while maintaining a healthy balance of humble demure with friends, family, and elders. This involves improving leadership, maturity, independence, and making mistakes to learn from them.

    The individuals I know personally that personify these traits:

    -Educated ( in secular and religious matters - she is educated in her studies, reads, and knows her faith)

    - Knows when to speak up and when to be silent

    -Confident in her skills and accomplishments

    -Is always calm and doesn't let negativity affect her

    -Carries herself like a lady/woman and doesn't hesitate to 'roll her sleeves up' and get the job done whenever need be

    There is one woman I know, from Brooklyn, that comes to mind. She fits this description to the t, even though she doesn't think of herself as a 'bad ass'. She has her faults/shortcomings, which she will be the first to admit, but she exudes confidence, intelligence, and independence. I love hearing of her 'interesting' encounters with rude people. There was a recent incident where the manicurist at a nail salon she went to was acting snotty towards her (my friend) and making rude comments about her covering and Muslim obvious identity - her response? Let's just say that she (my friend) made the manicurist shut up real fast. LOL She spoke up and reacted gracefully and intelligently-giving the manicurist a piece of her mind , while never losing her composure or dignity in the process.

    Advice: Just practice being more assertive and sure of yourself. In social situations, going to the store, restaurants, with family, friends, etc.

    This is something that I've started to implement in my life and have made the conscious decision to be more assertive and in control.

    pardon the essay!

    1. Love this! Thank you :)

  6. Anonymous7:12 PM

    My grandmother gave me the best 'badass' advice ever. She always maintained that it was hugely important for a woman to master the art of saying "No."

    Not a loud, overbearing shout of "NO!!!!"

    Not a sad, whipsered and apologetic "no...".

    A straighforward, warm and firm "No." is the articulation of a person who is clear on what they want, what they believe and what their priorities are. No apology needed.

    Mind you.. this requires figuring out who you are, what you want and what your priorities are. That's where the hard work comes in. ;-)

    1. And your grandmother is awesome. Thank you, so well said.


Thanks for commenting!