I figure I don't have to wait till Sunday to write about this. It's my blog and I'll whine if I want to!
I'm just feeling really rather blah on the dieting front. My scale is working, it was just the rubber foot on on the bottom that had come off and gluing it back on fixed it. It's actually accurate and I checked by weighing on a proper medical scale at a pharmacy. I actually gained this past week. I know it's just a week and I should let it go but it really bothered me. I haven't felt like writing down my food these past days and I'm just all around worn out about it.
I guess you could say I hit my melting point. It couldn't have stayed all slap happy, hey this is easy! Whohoo!, forever. I wanted a big slice of chocolate cake! Basically I was like the typical angry dieter except I din't fall of the wagon in a binge of some twisted kind of revenge on the scale? Myself? But it wasn't for lack of wanting.
I just got angry that I've been following the plan, not eating the things I want and walking everyday for an hour and had an asthma attack one day, really killing myself sometimes and in the end I end up gaining?! For what? Why bother, I thought. I'm eating so much less and better than I used to, I feel like I should be seeing real results. I know everyone is going to say I shouldn't be a slave to the scale but I just am. It makes me feel like the deprivation, what I'm doing is worth it, when I see a loss.
Maybe it's just that Eid is coming up and we're going away a few days and I feel like I probably won't be as diligent about my points so it's a kind of aw screw it mentality. I know I won't blow it completely but I'll definitely enjoy myself a little. I just don't feel completely in it right now and I hope I'll be motivated to be excited about it again after Eid break.