Hijab Fashion Magazine, And I Use The Word Fashion Loosely

Yesterday as we passed a news stand and Dawood was buying a Mickey comic, I spotted a Hijab magazine and I love magazines, so I got it. It was in plastic so I couldn't look inside but I thought, how bad could it be? So, later as I'm flipping through it, I find what can only be described as a glossy parade of some of the ugliest ensembles I've ever had the misfortune to witness. 85% of this stuff was just unwearabe-ly fug.

I should say that I rarely see such offenses out and about so this absolutely doesn't represent the majority of the Egyptian population. Just my opinion, so don't anyone go and get offended.

What the hell is going on here? What is that?!

Is the circus in town? And what's with this one hijab wrap that they all have going on in all the pictures? It pretty much looks like a fabric hairstyle and it looks really hot. Since the way they have it wrapped doesn't cover the neck they all have turtlenecks on under their hideous get-ups. Yea, that's just great for hijabi women, in the Middle East. In Summer.

This one seems to have taken the Fraulein Maria route and fashioned her abaya out of curtains. And and old couch.

Really? Denim vest? She's also got that big cowboy belt buckle on to really drive point home: "Look at me! I'm western!"

Now even the model in this one looks disgusted. Crushed velvet over satin pants?

Brides are also a big part of this magazine. Advertisements for make-up artists and "veil designers" are aplenty.

The Arab obsession of being extra white is in full force on a girl's wedding day. Clown-white foundation is caked on in a most ridiculous amount.

I tend to think a more natural look is flattering, more like the one on the lower left here. The head piece on the bottom right appears to be made of bedazzled sea urchins

I'll be damned if that doesn't look like a tranny. She bears a striking resemblance to Sean Wayans in White Chicks.

Now for the not-so-bad.

The Polyvore-like ensembles here are mostly ok.


There are some outfits here that just go a little too far and would be ok if they made a small change.

Take this lass for example. That cropped denim jacket has no place in this outfit and she should have more casual shoes.

Another near miss on this one here. The weird sleeves are too much. Bad shoes and hijab, I say but chin up, girly, you were close.

This, here is cute. Not a fan of that hijab style, but otherwise, cute. Why do all that and have on a turtleneck in this heat when you can wrap your scarf like a normal person and have some air circulating and I don't know, not die of a heat stroke.

This one is almost something I would wear. Not crazy about he patchwork and maybe in a different color.

At least the magazine was good for a laugh and make-fun-ablity, but I won't be wasting any money on this publication again. What do you think of these, erm....costumes?