June 13, 2009

Home Alone

home alone Pictures, Images and PhotosMccaulie Culkin was so cute.
What age are kids able to be left alone for a few hours? I'm not in any hurry, just wondering what's the norm?

When I was a kid we were latch key kids and had our older sister with us but that was pretty common in 80's suburbia. My kids are 11, 9, 7 and 4 1/2, I've left the oldest home alone for a couple of hours and he's fine. I think he and Zayneb (9) would be ok too but I haven't done that or needed to before.

I suppose it depends on the kid and not a certain age and I also think more kids might equal more trouble but how do you know they are ready?

I have an acquaintance who as I've previously posted leaves her 1 year old in the care of her 7 and 10 year old kids. NOW she's gotten a job and leaves them to fend for themselves all day. Then she has the gall to complain about her babie's diaper rash or that her older 2 haven't eaten all day! I told her if she was in the US she'd be arrested but she laughed it off. (insert eyeroll here) So it's not at all uncommon for people here to leave young children alone even at night, sleeping. It boggles the mind really.

I can't see anything being important enough to go out and leave them at home now anyway. During the school year there are several hours to myself, alhamdulillah. I think I'll play it by ear and see how things go, inshaAllah.

13 comments:

  1. I know a Moroccan girl that leaves the kids home at age 3 and 4 respectively. For a quick grocery run. I also have seen them alone at Walmart in the front of the store while she's off shopping in the back. They could easily be kidnapped. I honestly think CPS should get involved.

    I was so sad to read aout your friend. Imagine if we as adults had constant diaper rashes that were totally preventable. Or if we were starving, and there was nothing we could do, because we had no idea how to make kafta! This sort of explains the Madeleine McCann case to me a little better.

    I was 12 before it was allowed, and it was extreme cases. For instance, I was sick and at the last minute needed to stay home from school. My mom had started working that year as a school nurse after being a stay at home mom, and there wasn't enough time to get a substitute nurse. She left me really strict instructions and called every 2 hours :)

    I think it's okay once in awhile for the 11 year old.

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  2. Yeah that sister is so dumb to leave her kids like that... it doesn't seem like the eldest has been trained properly to trake care fo her siblings.
    I was allowed to be home alone when i was 13. It wasn't fo long just from when i got home til my apretns got home from work. They increased the time gradually.
    I loved my home alone time...I used to do whatever I wanted and had fun. Sure many times I did bad things but as long as everything was right when they got home no one was the wiser.
    I felt sooo free when i was alone. It really made me realize how much I wanted to be on my own and not under parental athority.

    Some good can come from alone time but you have to know your kid's mentality and if they can handle it. Try a few searching qquestions, like if mommy had to run tot eh store and leave you at home alone what would you do for an hour, two hours? etc... or role play what they SHOULD do.
    I think also if you assign them tasks taht have to be finished by tghe time you get home they are less likely to have time for troublesome ones.

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  3. When I was looking for an arabic teacher the girl mentioned to me she had two children, the oldest was 9 and she was divorced. She told me she would leave the children to come to teach me, and I was like - uh no! I couldnt believe it and it made me really sad. But in this part of the world the children are WORKING and doing many things we wouldnt dream of in the West by such a young age so I guess what more can we expect? I also read an article where a young boy, 10 was working to support his family after his father's death. Whoa. I couldnt even imagine that.

    My mom left me to take care of my sister at 11 (she was 8) I remember as well always trying to cook and clean cuz mom was alone... I dont think it is nice or healthy. I think kids need to learn responsibility but not like that.

    Perhaps you should just be straight with her, and tell her you dont think that is good for the children?

    Anyway, about that favicon... I am missing mine as well :(

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  4. We got left home alone quite often as kids...but generally a trusted neighbor had a heads up and would check on us periodically. Once or twice my parents left my older sis and I completely alone for a night...we thought that was the ultimate in cool. I think we were around 11 and 14 then...maybe a bit younger.

    Any child under 10 I wouldnt unless for a quick run or something...a child under 6..definitely not..toddlers...no way in hell. What are those mothers thinking?

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  5. I think leaving the 2 older ones home alone for a little while is ok.Under no circumstances would my 7 year old watch my 1 year old, thats just crazy!!!! BTW, I adore your children!! I love hearing storys about your family. :)

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  6. ps. I added a new favicon I think it is the old site host that is the problem.

    I followed these sites:

    http://www.ehow.com/how_5067587_easiest-create-favicon-blogger-blog.html

    http://www.bloggerplugins.org/2007/07/another-blogger-trick-change-favicon.html

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  7. Lisa, that's ridiculous about the kids left alone. The situation with you and your mom sounds very reasonable. Thank you.

    American Muslima Writer, Yea I remember me and my siblings enjoying staying home alone even not doing anything wrong, it just felt fun. Good idea about the questions. Thanks.

    Um Travis, I know, you see 7 yr old boys working as a mechanic's apprentice or whatever and it's so sad.

    My sister took care of us and even made us food and gave us arabic lessons..(alphabet etc) I'm sure it must have been pressure on her but she did a good job. (Thanks Eman!) THANK YOU so much for the Favicon info....the student has become the teacher..jk!

    CoolRed, Yea, I don't know what they are thinking. I do know they will feel like shit if something happens to their kid.

    Inspired Muslimah. Aw, you're so sweet! Yea I agree the 2 older would be fine.

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  8. I don't remember when my parents left me and my brother alone... They were always very available and brought us where they went. They went out more when we were young kids, and we had a babysitter on those occaisions. I think we mostly had sleepovers when they went out when we were a bit older (like 10-12ish) but I know that when I was 14 or so, they let me with no problem.

    It is crazy to think that a young kid like that would be taking care of a 1 year old baby! I can't imagine it! I don't want to imagine it!!

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  9. Mom of 29:34 PM

    This acquaintance of yours definitely needs to be arrested..If u haven't already called the police on her I 'll do!! ;).I know lots of moms like her.They always say this way we r teaching our kids to be independent..thats a fake justification for the situation..In fact they want to feel free of a while....Thats it!!
    We all have the right to enjoy some freedom at least for few hours once a month..Thats what grannies and sisters r for :))Besides and as u said schools gives us the chance to be alone for hours..so there is no reason whatsoever to leave kids unattended..especially those under 10..That would be so selfish!

    I know I am the extreme opposite of ur friend.I am always accused of being so much over protective to the extent that having a nap while my kids r awake alone makes me feel guilty but I can't love them less..!!
    Moms like anything else differs!!

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  10. Candice, Yea it's unsafe as well as TOO much pressure and responsibility on the kid!

    Mom of 2, do you think the police would do anything here? I doubt it! I'm the same about naps but at least you're there in case they need you.

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  11. Wow, I wouldn't leave my two of similar ages to the acquainence you mentioned, home alone!
    People are sooo different.
    I think more towards the 12 years old mark...but a lot depends on the particular child or children.

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  12. I would like to share this article on a blog. I just read this is cell phone safety application that could help a lot of parents in leaving their kids at home alone. I just have mine and it's amazing how it works. Feel free to drop by here's the link http://www.tsue-thatswhatshesaid.com/2011/08/your-childs-safety-your-piece-of-mind.html

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Thanks for commenting!