May 27, 2009

Kid's Swimwear & Clothing

InshaAllah we are signing up the kids for swimming soon so today after dinner, we went to find Dawood (11) and Zayneb (9) new bathing suits since they had out grown last year's. (Salwa & Safiyah are happy with hand me downs, they are in good condition.)



We had the same problem last year for Dawood's swimwear. All the boy's swimsuits are speedo style. That's what all the boys here wear, but Dawood doesn't like them and neither do we. They are just...I dunno, ick? I mean, there are men's swim shorts, but no boy's. We went to several stores last year and no luck. We ended up getting him some soccer shorts. They have the lining and they dry quick. I don't know why we thought this year would be different. I'm still going to look some more. If we don't find any regular swim shorts/board shorts, he will just wear last year's or new soccer shorts. I just worry that kids at swimming will make fun of him for being different? Not that it would change anything because I won't change my mind and I don't think he will, he's shy. Plus he laughed his head off at one with teddy bears and hearts on it today. A BOYS swimsuit! ::::eyeroll::::

Zayneb picked out a swimsuit similar to this one except it's one piece, not a tankini and the skirt is a little longer. It's apple green with a navy skirt. She really loves it and I'm glad she liked the more modest style. InshaAllah she keeps liking it no matter what other girls are wearing.

The mentality here is very much, let them wear what they want now so when they grow up and have to wear hijab, they will have lived a little. Several Egyptian women have said that to me when I raised concerns about skirt length or tight tops. I realize Zayneb has not developed yet but it would be stupid to have her wear some of the hoochie Egyptian kid's clothes I've seen here and all of a sudden at a certain age expect her to dress modestly or wear hijab. Seriously, halter tops, minis and high heels for little girls and it's supposed to be cute? Maybe it comes down to women wearing hijab out for cultural reasons or because they are "supposed to" here as opposed to wanting to.

My way of thinking is to bring them up and little by little buying more modest stuff. For example, a couple of years ago we stopped getting shorts & tanks for Z and we get capri's and T shirts. They see that I love hijab and they see how I match them to my abaya's and respect it and until now they really like the idea. They still have years ahead inshaAllah but I think it's important to instill a sense of modestly and a love for hijab in them.

23 comments:

  1. Ma shaa Allah! I totally agree with you and think you are doing the right thing... I once had a convo with an Egyptian mom, and her daughter (9 I think) was wearing a halter-like top. I told her, that her daughter shouldnt wear stuff like that as it is extremely suggestive.. she told me - she is just a kid. I told her, maybe, but some men like it (first of all) and, as women we should be showing off our bellies EVEN to other women. She didnt know that! I doubt she's changed much - but in shaa Allah it is a step. Now if she were to meet another child with some modesty, she might consider it, Allah only knows. We cant change the culture but we can nick at it in little bits.

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  2. CareMuslimah4:13 AM

    Salaam alaykum sister!!..

    I'm not a mom, but I think you're doing it right. Mashallah!!.. Inch'allah they'll grow up to be great muslims.

    :)

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  3. What a beautiful point about gradual modesty. It should happen just like awareness of the body. I think this is a wonderful idea, masha'Allah. :)

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  4. I love your approach! ^^ Instilling modesty values since young, little by little instead of going all hardcore on them instantly is a delightful attempt. I'm sure they are adapting well to it. May Allah S.W.T make it easier for you in providing guidance to your children and make them good Muslims. :)

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  5. Anonymous6:46 AM

    Mona you are so wise! It isn't sensible to expect a child to suddenly change how they dress. Having a wise mother that gradually makes the changes and also shows a wonderful example of how a modest lady dresses and behaves is a gift to your children.

    When I was a young, my mother had gentle small talks with my sister and I about how a young lady sits, stands, and dresses. It was always done with such love, that we learned to respect ourselves and our to show that in how we presented ourselves to others.

    When we began to chose our own clothes, we knew our boundaries and that we would have to explain why we felt something was appropriate. If we couldn't actually justify it, then we know we wouldn't ever wear it even if we bought it! Having to say to your mother that you think a belly-baring tube top is lady-like attire that you would be proud to wear in front of anyone you know, really doesn't work.. ;o)

    It was really empowering to know as a young lady that when you treated yourself with respect, other recognized your confidence and that you were deserving of their respect.

    Bravo Mona on being so wise!
    Lizzegrl

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  6. You're a great mother and a wonderful role model for your kids, masha'allah :D

    Oh gosh, speedos for boys? That's disturbing but what's worse is that maybe the guys will still wear it when they're older -shiver-.

    I was a chubby child (until teen years when I shot up to 5'8" and evened out) so I never really wore revealing clothing, not like my dad would've allowed me anyway, so I had these ugly tankini skirt things that don't sound as cute as your daughter's swimsuit.

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  7. Mashaa Allaah Mona, good going sister! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the tighties looked a little to funky and stanky on little boys, lol! My son is a skinny as a twig and he looked so funny in his oversized swim trunks...but at least he was comfortable...and COVERED!

    Your approach to your girls' way of dressing is on point mashaa Allaah. I honestly wonder if some of the people here really think about what their clothing choices are telling their daughters? Allaah's help is sought.

    May Allaah continue to bless you and your family, ameen.

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  8. UmTravis, Thanks, I know what you mean. The "she's just a kid" is exactly why it's inappropriate.

    CareMuslimah, Thank you, JasakeAllahKhair.

    Shawna, Thanks, I'm trying.

    Hajar, JazakeAllahkhair, Just makes sense, thanks.

    Anon/Lizzegrl, Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful and wise person.

    "It was really empowering to know as a young lady that when you treated yourself with respect, other recognized your confidence and that you were deserving of their respect."
    spot on. That's what I'm going for.

    ModestJustice, Thank you, yea speedos with bears and hearts!! Older boys sometimes still wear them which I don't get cause, ummm what about awra?

    Asiya, Yea I know they will be different but that's not important. Thank you. JazakeAllahKhair.

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  9. I think you're going about it with the right approach. I will do the same with my daughter.

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  10. omg little boys wear speedos? that's just wrong man..

    so kids, boys and girls, are basically pressured to wear slutty swim suits? that's so weird.

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  11. Mom of 29:32 PM

    It's so wise to make your girl's transformation from a girl's phase to a hijabi's a gradual one..I was one of the victims of the sudden transformation from someone wearing a revealing swimming suit and the next day a hijab "yeah I said the "NEXT DAY". At first I felt I was so much imprisoned in my hijab and used to hate my aunt for doing that to me but now I feel ashamed of myself for these 3 years which I lived "hijabless" though I was obliged to wear one . But it took me some years to adapt myself both physically and spiritually to the change..
    Speedos are slutty!!!:(...for some "sportive reason"I had to wear a Speedo till I was 15....Thanx Naseem for the public humiliation...:)))LOL

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  12. Candice, Thanks, we just have to do our best.

    Naseem, Not so much pressured but it's the norm.

    Mom of 2, Do you mean the brand Speedo? Cause the Speedo I mean is a style of swimsuit for men...the one that looks like a woman's bathing suit bottom. Don't feel bad about the years you didn't wear it, you do now and that's what's important.

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  13. Mom of 212:42 AM

    Yeah I meant the brand Speedo cuz mine was a Speedo.It was the norm by that time that those swimming in a swimming team should get a Speedo,a Speedo swimming suit,googles,cap....everything.that was some 20 years ago.But I got the Speedo you mean for boys.My son hates it as he feels he's just wearing an underwear but it's a must have for his swimming class..

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  14. Mona, I love how you are raising your girls. I am sure that with you as a role model they will grow up with respect for themselves, their bodies and their beautiful faith.

    I do not like girls' and women's bathing suits here in the states. Even when I was thin (and after all the hormone therapy I am not thin now!) I was uncomfortable baring very much and always swam in a one piece suit where the bottom looked like shorts. I would prefer a more modest one with a little skirt though; wonder if I can find one that is nice looking.

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  15. Momof2, Yea that's what I thought you meant 'cause lots of pro swimmers use Speedo brand, but Naseem meant the boys style when she said they were slutty, lol. My son compared them to undies too.

    Dayna, thanks for your sweet thoughtful comment. When I was searching for images for this post, I saw a lot of modest swimsuits, google it.

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  16. Anonymous4:48 AM

    Mona, I was talking to my sis yesterday about this post. She was horrified at the idea of little boys all wearing speedos..heheee

    It came up because we were looking at the landsend catalog (landsend.com) and they actually had some kids and ladies swim suits that were modest! The prices aren't very cheap, but if you can't find what you like at a lower price they are an option. They had suits they called "activity suits" that were long sleeved and had longer legged too.

    My sis has decided that since becoming a mom, wearing an immodest swimsuit isn't practical or seemly. ;o)
    Lizzegrl

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  17. Lizzegrl, I'm gonna look at those. It's good for coverage from the sun too. Last year we went to this resort and there were some topless Europeans, anyway they left their kids naked which is there prerogative but I'm thinking getting sunburned on your genitals is not fun.

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  18. I totally agree with you Mona, and even though my kids are only 3 and 6 - i do the same.

    BTW the longer knee length boys swimsuits are in style here this year - want me to send one over? Or would it take 3 months to get there? LOL

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  19. Mona! How are you? Thanks for the offer, we're going with the soccer shorts.

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  20. Baby Lulu was less than a year old when we got her first rash guard. My husband and I thought it was much better than the itsy bitsy baby bikinis in terms of sun protection and modesty. I know she doesn't understand anything yet, but I am guessing that if you let your girls wear skimpy outfits while they are young and then suddenly want them to dress modestly it won't be as easy as starting out modest in the first place

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  21. Jessy, What's a rash guard? I'll google it.

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  22. It looks like a a wetsuit but made from swimsuit fabric and has uv protection.

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  23. Oh, that's what I thought. Thanks!

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Thanks for commenting!