November 18, 2008

You Did WHAT??

So I have a friend, an Egyptian lady. Most of the time she's great. Really honest and straight forward. You can always count on her to give you the truth, weather it's about how a cake turned out or your new hair do. Sometimes it can be a bit tactless and hurtful. I've learned to take the good with the bad... most of the time.

Now I have another problem with her. It's not about me, but I can't just say it's none of my business.

Last night we met to look at a shop where I was going to exchange some pajamas. She said she'd been meaning to check out that store and look at some new winter pj's. The shop is near her house so she said she'd come down for a few minutes and leave her baby with her neighbor, so we went to the store and I got what I needed. She on the other hand was asking about everything in the shop and getting friendly with the sales girl. (She said this way, she'd give her a better price.) So finally 45 minutes later she finds what she likes and tells the girl that she'll be back to purchase them. When we get out of the shop I'm like...Why were you taking so long? Don't you want to get back to the kids, your neighbor probably didn't think you'd be long. I had Zayneb with me and the others were at home with E.

Then she says it.

She said she left the 9 month old baby alone at home with just his brothers, ages 6 and 9. I was like WHAT? Why didn't you just leave him at you're neighbors? Her neighbor wasn't home so she left the baby at home. Dumbfounded. I knew she left the older 2 alone to get groceries all the time before she had the baby and I told her that's crazy...there's a hundred things that could go wrong. I can't believe she went out, taking her sweet time, leaving the baby at home! She could tell I was upset. She said the older boy can handle it. What the? He's 9! What if something happened!? She didn't even bring her phone just in case! I have left my 10 year old at home alone ONCE for an hour. I told her people get arrested for that in the US...she laughed it off. She kept wanting to chit chat on the street by her building..I was like "Go upstairs to your kids!" She was all "Go home", like offended! This is really bothering me...what do I do/say to this woman!?

24 comments:

  1. I do agree that is insane. But ppl here do insane things all the time. Like young children less than 10 work to support their entire family! SO how to educate them, when this is not all together abnormal in this part of the world?

    I suppose you have to try, but just dont expect much. We are responsible for trying to advise the others, not the result. I dont know what else to say - maybe consult other more educated ppl to counsel her?

    SubhanAllah.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woow! That's irresponsible to say the least but I don't think there is a lot you can do besides talk to her. Some people won't listen though coz they think it's perfectly normal to leave kids home alone. Any way I look @ it,I still don't understand though, if it was a 10, 12 years old I could say oh well but a baby? com' on! Whenever we had to leave my step daughter home alone, (she is 10), we will give her a phone and call every 10 minutes to ask if everything was fine! We couldn't even concentrate on what we had to do coz we were thinking of the poor girl home alone and would rush back home. So leaving a baby alone and chitchat your way home, that's just insane!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know what age is appropriate to start letting your children stay home alone but I DO know that its NOT okay for a 6 and 9 year old to stay home with a baby!! That's just scary. I think its good you basically told her she was crazy but I don't think there's much else you can do. Maybe try talking to her about it again and just explain to her your concern for the children. Inshallah it was a one time thing!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are right, she should be more responible and careful with her kids!

    Allah ye7fazhom.

    ReplyDelete
  5. WTFFFFFFFFFF???? a nine month old baby!!! this women is insane!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my gosh! As you can imagine that's not something at all that I am used to. I know in the town we grew up in, you have to be 9 to be home alone but even at that I wasn't allowed home alone until I was 13, and even then my mom worried.

    If it's not illegal there and you already told her you think it's wrong I guess there's nothing you can do. But encourage her to bring her phone next time at least...!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow...that's dangerous. So many things could go wrong.
    But, as others have said, there's not much you can do about it except tell her that you are very concerned for the baby's safety. Does a 9 or a 6 year old know what to do if the baby put something small in it's mouth and started to choke? Or if they put the baby on the furniture and the baby crawled off and hit it's head really bad and got knocked out? Or if they forgot to close a door and the baby crawled out and down the stairs (if they have them?) or out to the street?
    Accidents happen, even when adults are taking care of babies...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8:00 PM

    OMG!!! YA-ALLAH!!! I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO THIS LADY ONE DAY AND SIT WITH HER AND EXPLAIN ALL THE SAFETY REGULATIONS AND THE DANGERS THAT MAY HAPPEN, SO SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT TO DO. PLUS WHEN SHE SAYS THE 9 YR OLD WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM, THEN WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THE 6 YR OOLD?? WOOOW WHERE WAS THE DAD??
    ANYWAY, I HOPE ALL GOES WELL
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. She called today and I asked her about the kids and she said when she went up the older boy was asleep and the 6 yr old "put the baby to sleep" and everything was ok...I told her it's better to be safe than sorry and that I'd watch the baby if she had to go somewhere. She took it well or at least pretended to. Like you all said, that's all I can do.

    Thanks for your comments everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  10. crazy!it's the least i can say :(!
    let alone the fact that it's not safe,but leaving 6 and 9 year old children with responsabilities which are not theirs.it's injust to them.i'd be careful and watch this family.
    and all of that for what?for some shopping?blah!!!
    anyways,be careful not to lose her trust,otherwise she could start hiding things from you,and than my dear mona you really wouldn't have a chance to help.not even with a resonable advice!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Natasha, I agree. why saddle the kid with that kind of responsibility. If anything happened could you imagine the guilt?

    You're right about the trust thing.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, people never cease to amaze me. All you can do is what you did, extend your help and advice.

    ReplyDelete
  13. yeah,the guilt part would be devastating for the children!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm. I am not surprised one bit by the lady's actions. She is Egyptian with her own set mentality on issues. I know many Egyptians who also would think she is insane. It's all about where you are from and how you are raised.

    Posts like these don't make me want to come to Egypt.

    ReplyDelete
  15. oh my .. thats crazy and very irresponsible.. i wouldnt even leave a 14yr old at home by themselves. there is no one there to protect them.. but a baby.. omg

    ReplyDelete
  16. That's pure madness. Really. Though there are people that think otherwise. Try to advise and educate her, e.g. the probabilities of unwanted things happening at home when children are left without a guardian.

    ReplyDelete
  17. naseem6:03 AM

    wow are you serious?? my mom still hates leaving me home alone and i'm 23 :S lol

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks everyone, yea it's not that uncommon here I gather with some people I guess, but I'd think at least the kid would be older.

    Organica, yea sorry for the downer.

    Ange, 14 is old enough I think but it really depends on the kid too.

    LoL Naseem.
    Thanks again you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I dont even know what to say! I wouldnt leave a 9 and six year old alone because I am way way way too paranoid even about that, but 9 months old???????? I wouldnt even be able to sit outside my house without a baby monitor. I so hope that nothing happens to those children. I know you want to make her understand but I really think she isnt going to change. She doesnt see what is wrong with doing it. Ugh. I feel pukey thinking about it!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Khadra, Pukey is my new word. I was leaving you a comment at the same exact time. Cue twilight zone music...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well, in all honesty, most ppl overseas do these sort of things. My family in Syria leave their kids at home, all ages, alone for hours at a time, either to go shopping for groceries or to make a house call. It's just natural to them. One aunt of mine literally locks her kids in the house. Idk if any of the other family members outside have a key, though..
    Whats weird to us is normal to them and vice versa. All in all, what she is doing IS wrong/insane, etc. but you cant just tell her to stop. When people are set in their ways it takes a lot for them to change. Astaghfirallah if anything happens she will regret what shes been doing..

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jannah, leaving them alone is negligent and dangerous...locking them in is just cruel. What if there was a fire? UGH!

    ReplyDelete
  23. *shrugs* what can u do?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous9:50 AM

    I have learned that some people are just idiots. Plain and simple. There is no other explanation. They just don't use their brains.

    Make duaa for her.
    -Omar Z

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!