January 17, 2008

While I wouldn't trade it for the world....

Being a stay at home mom definitely has it's ups and downs.

On one hand, It is hard. It's a full time job, and then some. Spending your days without some adult conversation, trying to quiet a child's screams in the supermarket, cleaning bloody knees, refereeing fights, changing diapers, packing lunches, cleaning everything and preparing meals gets monotonous to say the least. It tries your patience on a regular basis.

It's a thankless job and some people see you as beneath them for being "just" a mom. You feel like a bit of a slob next to your working mom friends. Them in their smart suits and you with a lovely spit up stain on your shirt. Your roots are growing out and getting a manicure or even a haircut is a real extravagance.

It's really hard to get any "me time", Little ones will ask you for stuff when you're in what should be a private moment on the can. Sticking their little fingers under the door stops being cute after the first couple of times. It's a terrible feeling of guilt to want a break from your kids, but it's necessary for your mental health and to appreciate the time with them even more.

You are always on call. You're never done. Someone is sick all over their bed at 3 am? Guess who's cleaning that up? Oh, button needs sewing a minute before the bus comes? Yep, you again.

The house gets turned upside down on a daily basis, as opposed to everyone being at work/daycare most of the day. Someone once said "Cleaning the house while you children are growing is like shoveling the walk while it is still snowing." Sometimes you have to resign yourself to the fact that with children it will never be perfect. I found that on days that I get all my jobs out of the way first thing, things are a lot less hectic and its just visually more calm. This is easier when they get older but with a babies and toddlers who need more attention and supervision, you do a little at a time, in the room you are in at the time. Things always get done somehow (maybe just not the day you want it to.)

Now, on the other hand staying at home is a luxury some people cannot afford, such as single moms and those who truly need the double income.

You get to wear what you want, there's no dress code. Pj's? Sure! Messy bun in your hair? Why not?! Flip flops, Isotoners, Socks, bare feet. All acceptable footwear.

There's no commute, you don't have to bust your hump to and from work in traffic or inclimate weather. No dropping kids off at daycare or babysitters, or picking them up for that matter.

Flexibility. You're your own boss for the most part and while there are certain things that have to be done at specific times, over all, you can plan your day as you see fit. You can go to the playground or watch a movie in the middle of the day if you want.

As a SAHM you have the peace of mind from knowing what your kids are up to and get to witness all things they learn, all the firsts and see funny things they do and say, and they do and say funny things a lot.

There will be times when it will make you crazy, but I know this subtle pain of love, such endearing sacrifice, shall not go unnoticed.

That's enough of the positives. All these pluses might make you insane with jealousy, causing you to resent me and take me off your favorites! (I am on your favorites right?)


  1. Haha,very funny!

    You hit the nail right on the head with everything you were saying here.Being a mom IS the hardest job in the world.And its hard whether you're a SAHM or a working mom.
    I remember when my son was just a couple months old,he had 'colic'and he would cry and cry.I couldnt do any thing,I couldnt put him down.I was so stressed out and just going crazy..and now he's so active,crawling and trying to walk..sigh..but I only have one! Subhana'allah!
    Hat tip to all those moms with 3,4,5+ kids,including yourself.May Allah give you strength!

  2. Zainab, yea, there were times I was crying right along with the baby..(I ....WANT....TO.....SLEEEEEEP!)

  3. Very well-written, Mama Mona.

  4. Thanks mummyjaan!

  5. You certainly are on my favorites! :) Miss reading your blog *so much*. I hope it's not long before I'm officially back online.

    Oops...have to go be a mom now...again... ;)

  6. Maryam12:19 AM

    :-) , What a fresh and true post. I am not a mom yet but being married also feels the same to me. All added responsibilities, looking after the house,kitchen and totally have to be after Hubby, who is at times no less than a kid ........... :-)

    I like your blog, Maybe i might want to visit you again. Take care.

  7. Thanks Bea!:)

    Thanks Maryam for visiting and the compliment. Yes, indeed, husbands are just as much work as kids are.

  8. Magda3:40 AM

    mashAllah i love your blog :)

  9. Thanks Madga! :D

  10. Anonymous1:06 PM

    wowee, the saga of being a mom penned down in these oh-so-accurate words!

    I like the part about cleaning being like shoveling while the snow is falling. Sometimes it sure does feel like that. Oh wait, it IS like that lol.

    I gota confess on one thing. If there is a late nite spill that isn't too big on the kid's bed, I will once in a while, just put a nice big towel and double it up on top of the stain(as long as its bubble blowing solution I guess). And we'll get to it in the morning.

  11. I don't even clean up bubble solution spills on a rug or mattress. It's self cleaning!

  12. As'salamu alaykum :)

    I am gaining a sense of true responsibility and dedication of SAHMs everywhere by reading your post.

    Your children and husband are very fortunate to have you!

  13. imuslimah, Thanks that's a wonderful thing to hear. :::sheds a single tear:::


Thanks for commenting!