March 8, 2007

Thanks, I love it when you point out my faults, really!


What do you do about people who have diarrhea of the mouth?

Stuff just spills out of their mouths without pause. I have a friend who is what you would call a straight shooter. She is direct, candid and genuine. She will always give her honest opinion. While this is a good trait...most of the time, brutal honesty can be hurtful.

For example, You don't need to point out that horizontal stripes aren't for me. Furthermore, I don't need your harsh words when I try a different hairdo. You know what? It's impolite to point out that I'm not looking my best at any given time.

There is like no filter between brain and mouth. At first, I'd fight tears, smile and change the subject. Now I just think it's best to fight fire with fire. To be just as blunt and point out that it's none of her business or that she's just being plain rude.

She really is a good friend, aside from the abrupt remarks. Know anyone like this?

9 comments:

  1. That's the thing with some ppl...you can't be shy....if they are a straighshooter and they can dish it out....then they have to take it as well.

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  2. I am experiencing the opposite right now - one friend is telling another friend things about me instead of telling me herself about our children playing together. I wish people would be more direct with me. Ma'salaam.

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  3. Yes, one of my good friend. Studed at school with her. I love honesty, but I don't love the people who don't know where, when & how to tell things.

    But what to do?

    :)

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  4. did u ever noticed that in some cultures ppl don't hold back as much as others. like for americans it would be really rude if some casual acquaintance said" wow you've gained weight" but in a lot of other cultures that is perfectly normal and not impolite. maybe i am just too sensitive but this seriously gets on my nerves.

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  5. Fatima, yea people do that here. It's like. Gee, you know, I didn't notice. Thanks for pointing it out!! ARGH!

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  6. yep, exactly what Fatima said. ha ha

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  7. Dear Mona,I know how you feel,but relax,you know that she does not mean to be rude.that is her,she has good intention and adores you.You have to take the good with the bad.
    Mom

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  8. You Mona I was like that...blurting things out before really thinking ...had to learn the hard way!!
    I think you just need to honest with her...for her own good wallahi...

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  9. Anonymous7:21 PM

    yes I know someone like this, and she happens to be egyptian. I just cut her off from my life. Although culture may have something to do with it, but I believe this is more a case of jealousy. In modern terms now, it's called "toxic friends". She's not being "honest"; she's being mean.

    Someone used to be "honest" with me about my weight, my skin color, my nose size bla blah. What I do is to be "honest" with that person just as well.

    Example, if she says I'm fat, I'll say her stomach looks pregnant.

    Sometimes they try to make it in question form (but obviously theyre not looking for answer because it's a stupid question). eg: Why is your face dull? So instead of telling her thats not nice or Ive been sleeping late etc, I'd just say things like, "Why is your face man-ish?"

    Another response of my head, "Wow, you're fat!" Mine: "Wow you are dark!" (yeah ok that's racist, and I love all skin colors but you get my point here- it's to be "honest" on her appearence like she did with yours).

    That would shut them toxics up lol :D

    reem

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