October 15, 2006

Those who know me personally know this year has been weird, family wise.

My parents got divorced after 38 years.

Polygyny was involved but I don't need to post the details.

The whole thing has really shaken everything I believed about marriage. What happened to growing old together? Its made me think about the reality of polygyny and how many people it can hurt when it's abused.


  1. Salam alaikoum!
    So glad you are blogging again.

    I know what you mean about growing old together. That is a hard dream for me to get rid of.
    Although I have heard of [old] people getting back together...not gonna jinx it for them but I will make dua for your parents. It is hard even when the kids are grown up, because they were supposed to be your partner through thick and thin...but I digress.

  2. Dear Sister,

    Reading about your parents' divorce made me sad. It also made me think about my own husband's 26 year marriage to his first wife when he sought me out for marriage. They were in the process of a divorce at the time, but after our marriage she changed her mind.

    Although this rededication to their marriage upset me initially a created a very rough first year of marriage, I can say now that I am glad that my coming onto the scene did not destroy their marriage (they were separated for 5 years before I met him). In fact, it probably was the catalyst for them attempting to save their marriage which is something I am now at peace with.

    After all, after 26 years of marriage they obviously fulfill certain needs for each other and I have no desire to deny either them or their children whatever pleasure they can take in their marriage.

    Insha'Allah I hope your mother and father also will make peace with each other in the time they have left in this life -- whether that is separately or even together again. One never knows what Allah has planned for us.

    Salaam Alaikum,

  3. Salam, Thanks for your Duas. PM, it's great that you are wise and have enough Iman to come to the point where you can feel that way. I admire you for it.

  4. I just don't know what to say about 38 yrs given up........I believe it's not difficult to be in that position....I sometimes feel thisclose to throwing in my 15. SubhanAllah. I hope you can be beside your mom during this time and show her support and love...

  5. Thanks Safa, I sincerely pray your situation gets better and fast, whatever is best InshaAllah.


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