January 31, 2005

Parenting Lesson # 94,662 Tickling can be torture

Last night, Dawood FREAKED OUT. Well in hindsight, it makes perfect sense.

I tickled him, well, to be more exact, I tickled him, kinda holding him down. Any time before, I always stopped once the child says no or seems like they want you to stop, and they were ok. I hate being tickled too, so I should have known.

He went from laughing to screams of terror. (Seriously, the look on his face, for like .05 of a second, was one of horror) So of course, Zayneb starts crying (she's very sensitive and hates to see anyone cry) and Salwa joins in with some fake sobs. This all happened in like 2 seconds. I was like "EVERYBODY STOP! What HAPPENED??"

Dawood just kept saying "I don' t like that."

I took him aside to talk. In the middle of our talk, he said something that just broke my heart. He said "You are supposed to love us." (I know!!)

Through tears, I tried to explain that I was only joking and I thought he enjoyed it. I promised never to do anything like that again.

He truly thought I was trying to hurt him or something. It was the holding down part that really bothered him. I assume now that he felt like he had no control.

Lesson of the day: Ask before you tickle, no means no.

Any insights here?

8 comments:

  1. I HATE being tickled, it is painful for me as well. When I was in 4th grade a very large girl started tickling me on the playground and wouldn't stop so I beat the you-know-what out of her to get her off me. I gave her a black eye and pulled out a big clump of her hair! Of course I was the one who got into trouble! It took me a while to convince my husband after we got married that tickling me was off limits. Maybe he's highly sensitive? (I am.) Check out http://www.hsperson.com

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  2. UmmZaynab, Thanks for the link! Mona

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  3. Subhan Allah what a situation. I was all choked up just reading what happened. Don't feel too bad, I'm sure he is over it. How would you know anyway. I too can't stand being tickled. It's just not fun or funny for me. I'll keep this story in mind for the future with my daughter.

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  4. Wohw Sister, i am not a parent and will never know the love a mother has for her childeren, but I can imagine how hurtful the implication would be that you don't love your son. SOrry and hope you feeling better.

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  5. Jazakullah Khair.

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  8. aawww... i wish husbands understood this rule

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